I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
