I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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