glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
