hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
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