Say something about gay babies.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
