final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
