She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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