ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
