this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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