She said her name was "party"
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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