he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
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Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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