no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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