i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
