why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
