That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
