That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
