i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
it hurts more in the daytime
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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