they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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