you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
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You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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