ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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