...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
