# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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