I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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