I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
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You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
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You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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