But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
