Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
