the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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