Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
