i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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