he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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