that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
