I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
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Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
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I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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