He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
