Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
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She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
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The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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