Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
