if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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