apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
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we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
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If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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