All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize