Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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