So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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