absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You can't just leave with hair like that
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
