i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
