you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
