Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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