Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
