Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
