You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
