So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
