Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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