dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I understand Curling. That high.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
