after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
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I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
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I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
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