my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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