you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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