he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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