all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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