Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
