she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
