I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
