I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize